Recognize that giving makes us happier<\/b><\/h3>\n
From the perspective of rational economics, gift giving is anything but rational. After all, we never really know what the other person wants, and anything we pick out for them will typically be less suited for them as something they would pick out themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n This is why traditional economists view gift-giving as an irrational exchange. Some go as far as calling it \u2018wealth self-destruction.\u2019 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yet, this analysis ignores the fundamental reasons that we give gifts in the first place: to increase human connection, friendship, and reciprocity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n For example, a Harvard <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> found that people who spend more of their income on others tend to be happier. In the study, led by Prof. Elizabeth Dunn, participants who were randomly assigned to spend money on others experienced were more happy<\/a> than those assigned to spend money on themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n Gift-giving can create happiness on both sides, and when the gift goes to a person we know and like, they can create a stronger social bond.<\/span><\/p>\n The philosophy behind gift-giving is actually quite straightforward. We give gifts to remind the recipient about our feelings towards them, and to strengthen our social bond.<\/span><\/p>\n\t <\/i>So what gift makes sense? Gifts that survive for the long-term and are there to remind the person for a long time about our relationship. \u00a0<\/a><\/i><\/p>\r\n\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t Gifts like headphones are always good because every time the recipient uses them, they\u2019re reminded of you. <\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s one more element to think about: give a gift that gets used intermittently. Things like a painting often just fades into the background. An electric mixer on the other hand, when used, gets noticed. Every time you use it, you\u2019ll think of the person who got them for you.<\/span><\/p>\n The best way to think about gifts is through the \u201cpain of paying.\u201d Pain of paying is the feeling you get when you really want something, but would feel too guilty buying it for yourself. This category shouldn\u2019t exist, according to standard economic theory: if you really liked it and could afford it, you\u2019d buy it. But a high pain of paying usually means it will be a meaningful present for someone else. <\/span><\/p>\n For me, fancy pens meet this description. I don\u2019t use pens that much, but I\u2019d be pleased to get a really nifty one. When my students defend their dissertations, I ask everyone on the Ph.D. committee to sign the required forms with an expensive pen, and then I give the pen to the student. It\u2019s a prototypical good gift, because it\u2019s something that they would probably feel too guilty buying for themselves, but would be pleased to receive from me. Plus, it has positive associations as a memento of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n This is yet another reason headphones can be a great gift. They\u2019re a luxury: people have a hard time buying them for themselves (high pain of paying), and they get used quite frequently. Every time you put them on, you\u2019ll think of the person that got them for you.<\/span><\/p>\n Often, we gift something to a friend or loved one that we would want to receive ourselves. If you want to push yourself a bit more and invest more time into the gift, try to think of what the recipient would like among the things you like. This is the challenge of empathy.<\/span><\/p>\n Instead of just saying, \u201cI bought you membership to this yoga class because I love it and you should too,\u201d first think whether yoga is something your recipient would like doing at all, and maybe if they would like doing it together.<\/span><\/p>\n The great challenge lies in making the leap into someone else\u2019s mind. Psychological research affirms that we are all partial prisoners of our own preferences, and have a hard time seeing the world from a different perspective. But whether or not your partner likes yoga, it may give your partner joy that there was even thought process involved.<\/span><\/p>\n The problem with gift giving arises with people’s own risk aversion. Since most gift givers don’t really know what recipients want or need, they become deterred by the logistics (\u201cWhat color should I buy? What size?), and because of that, they don\u2019t end up taking risks. They usually wind up buying things like wine, chocolates, and flowers, which don’t give the other side much value. <\/span><\/p>\n It turns out that we need to take the risks – and despite the challenge of empathy, opt to give a meaningful gift that has significance.<\/span><\/p>\n \t <\/i>Gifts are not an economic transfer of wealth – they\u2019re about friendship and bonding.<\/a><\/i><\/p>\r\n\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t If <\/span>you give me a bottle of wine, sure, we\u2019ll consume some wine, but it will go away. But if you take a risk and give me something I don\u2019t like, I\u2019ll get to learn something new. I might even learn about the stuff I don\u2019t like, and then maybe I\u2019ll give it away to somebody else. Whatever I do with it, it\u2019s not necessarily going to be worse than a bottle of wine.<\/span><\/p>\n This concept is easier thought about in bulk: <\/span>If you gave 10 presents of wine, chocolates, and flowers, the long term impact would be zero. If you give 10 presents that are \u2018riskier,\u2019 and only 8 of them hit the mark, you\u2019ve made a much longer lasting positive impact than 10 empty gifts.<\/span><\/p>\n Giving a gift does more than signify your feelings towards your recipient – it also creates a culture of reciprocity in relationships<\/a>. Once you give someone a gift – whether it\u2019s for a holiday<\/a>, or just because – you set the tone for your relationship moving forward. You give to your friend, and your friend will want to <\/span>give back to you<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n![\"Spending](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/spending_vs_happiness-1024x585.png\")
<\/p>\nLong-lasting gifts will remind us about our relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n
![\"Gift-giving](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/gifts.png\")
<\/p>\nTry to give gifts you\u2019d feel too guilty buying for yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n
Put yourself in the recipient\u2019s shoes<\/h3>\n
![\"The](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/empathy-1024x483.png\")
<\/p>\nTake more risks<\/b><\/h3>\n
Wrapping it all up<\/b><\/h3>\n