{"id":3957,"date":"2018-07-18T08:55:19","date_gmt":"2018-07-18T08:55:19","guid":{"rendered":"\/blog\/?p=3957"},"modified":"2023-01-24T13:00:14","modified_gmt":"2023-01-24T13:00:14","slug":"healthier-relationship-phone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/healthier-relationship-phone\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Create a Healthier Relationship With Your Phone"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop wherever you are and take a look around you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many people are looking at their phones?\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nowadays, it\u2019s hardly a surprise to see the majority of people with their heads down. But what <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> surprising is that in less than 10 years, phones have transformed into something nearly 50% of us <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">couldn\u2019t live without<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Q<\/strong>: How many times do you think the average person touches their phone every day?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em><strong>A<\/strong>: 2,600. That\u2019s around 160 times every waking hour.<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And here\u2019s the kicker: Phones are actually making us <em>less<\/em> <a href=\"\/blog\/hacking-happiness\/\">happy<\/a> (but you probably knew that already). <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Part 1 of our<\/span> <a href=\"\/blog\/psychology-behind-phone-addiction\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Digital Detox series<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, we explored the psychological reasons that phones have become such an integral part of our day-to-day lives. The TL;DR? Checking our phones has become a <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">habit ingrained in our brains<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, thanks to our need for social connection and a little molecule called dopamine. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While spending a healthy amount of time on your phone can help you stay connected and informed, picking up your phone constantly can stifle <a href=\"\/blog\/productivity-tips\/\">productivity<\/a>, mindfulness, and even your relationships with others (more on that later). <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>So we\u2019re doomed, right? Not exactly.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that we understand the psychological reason we\u2019re addicted, we can more easily find a solution. All it takes is a bit of hacking (and knowledge of psyc) to create some distance from our phones, and take back control of our actions. Here\u2019s how. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Hide your phone (or at least put it away)<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3997\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work.png\" alt=\"How Habits Work - Lemonade Blog\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work.png 1200w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work-1024x536.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/how-habits-work-400x209.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Picking up your phone is a <a href=\"\/blog\/breaking-bad-habits\/\">habit<\/a>. And, as with any habit, it has three main components:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>The cue<\/strong>\u200a: \u200athe feeling, time, or location that triggers your habit<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>The routine<\/strong>\u200a: \u200athe habit itself<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong> The reward<\/strong>\u200a: \u200athe craving the habit satisfies<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what\u2019s the \u2018cue\u2019 that usually causes you to pick up your phone? <\/span>The mere <em>presence<\/em> of it.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you see your phone, your brain starts to crave that dopamine reward, and sends a signal to your body to pick it up. Alternatively,\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">when your brain <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> sense the presence of your phone, your dopamine craving won\u2019t kick in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Out of sight, out of mind.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To create a healthier relationship with your phone, find a spot where you can\u2019t see &#8211; or feel &#8211; your phone. (No, not in your pocket.) Place it in your work bag while at work, your living room while in your bedroom, or your bag while out to dinner with friends. You\u2019ll see instant results. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bonus? You\u2019ll even conserve energy by removing your phone from the vicinity. Why? Because when your phone\u2019s in view, your brain expends willpower to avoid giving into your craving. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Willpower is a limited resource &#8211; the more you use it, the less willpower (and energy) you\u2019ll have later on.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Turn off notifications<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, being realistic here &#8211; it\u2019s not practical to assume you\u2019ll be able to have your phone out of sight all the time. Bring on the (sometimes justified) excuses: my boss might need me, my mom might call, my best friend might need a restaurant recommendation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Luckily, if you\u2019re in the presence of your phone, there\u2019s another way to reduce the craving to pick it up. Let\u2019s return to the fact that specific \u2018cues\u2019 trigger habits. Aside from the mere presence of your phone, another common trigger is receiving notifications.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we hear a \u2018ping,\u2019 or see that red circle, it sends us a signal that we\u2019re about to receive something socially satisfying. Cue that insatiable urge to pick it up. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">new research<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has found that every time we get a notification on our phone, our brain releases dopamine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3965 aligncenter\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/phone-notification-dopamine-e1531829056340.png\" alt=\"Phone Notification Causes Dopamine - Lemonade Blog\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/phone-notification-dopamine-e1531829056340.png 800w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/phone-notification-dopamine-e1531829056340-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/phone-notification-dopamine-e1531829056340-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/phone-notification-dopamine-e1531829056340-400x209.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The trick here is to rid yourself of this temptation altogether: Turn off your notifications. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t let your phone lure you every time a news site sends you an alert, or someone likes your <a href=\"\/blog\/oddly-satisfying-videos-instagram-reddit\/\">Instagram<\/a> photo. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By turning off notifications, you\u2019ll take control of when you want to pick up your phone, and when you don&#8217;t. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best part of this hack? It reminds you that almost no notifications are actually urgent &#8211; the desire to check your phone is the dopamine talking when your brain <a href=\"\/blog\/being-bored-is-good-for-you\/\">feels bored<\/a>. That, in itself, will also help create space from your phone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If this sounds anxiety-provoking, leave your call notifications on. Baby steps. If you\u2019d like to go full throttle, airplane mode is where it\u2019s at. Just saying.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Prioritize face-to-face interactions <\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that we\u2019ve tackled the triggers that prompt our phone usage, let\u2019s discuss another component of our phone habit: the reward. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What reward do our phones deliver, exactly? Recent research found that the most addictive smartphone functions all tap into our desire to connect with others. So when we pick up our phones, we\u2019re seeking out that reward of social connectivity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Ironically, though, our phones have actually made us less social.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a 2016 article <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is Staying In The New Going Out?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Molly Young of The New York Times chronicled that we have fewer reasons to leave our homes and interact with others, because so much of what we want to do is available entirely on demand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Further, Jean Twenge showed in her groundbreaking book <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">iGen<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that people are spending less time in-person with their friends, going on fewer dates, and even getting their driver&#8217;s license later, all thanks to the emergence of phones.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These factors, coupled with the much-studied fact that the presence of phones in social situations decreases our feeling of connectedness, has created an inevitable outcome: In the age of communication saturation, we feel lonelier and less socially connected than ever before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3966\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/evolution-of-relationships-e1531829139635.png\" alt=\"Evolution of Relationships - Lemonade Blog\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/evolution-of-relationships-e1531829139635.png 800w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/evolution-of-relationships-e1531829139635-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/evolution-of-relationships-e1531829139635-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/evolution-of-relationships-e1531829139635-400x209.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the thing is, if we spent more time out with friends, put our phones away during meaningful conversations, and even try FaceTiming instead of texting, we\u2019d likely feel a less intense craving for connection. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, to reduce the temptation to constantly pick up your phone, put an extra effort towards fostering more meaningful relationships with the people you care about. Try asking your besties\u00a0<a href=\"\/blog\/creating-meaningful-conversations\/\">deep questions<\/a> &#8211; things that you wouldn&#8217;t normally chat about when you have the distraction of your phone lurking in the background.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you engage on a more meaningful level, you\u2019ll feel less of a need to seek out social connection from your phone, and consequently, less attached. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Create habit-free rituals<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The final component to all habits is the routine, or the habit itself. The more your habit happens, the more it becomes etched into your neural pathways. So one of the keys to breaking it is creating habit-free zones. As a rule, when you\u2019re in this zone, you cannot perform your habit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But since it may be unrealistic to rule out an entire space for phone usage (ex. \u2018I\u2019ll never use my phone in my bedroom\u2019), we propose ruling out a time in your day, or a combination of both.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The 30-minute rule<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first half an hour of your day are arguably the most important<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: they set the tone for your morning and the rest of your day.\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So the last thing you want to do is frame your first few moments around hits of dopamine and social connectivity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, put an alarm on your bedside table where you usually place your phone, and unplug your bedside charger. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, after you rise and shine, you won\u2019t be tempted to check your notifications in your first few moments, and this effect will likely last throughout your day.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 18.6667px;\"><b>Detox during your most productive hours<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Another solution is to make particular times during your day no-phone zones. We suggest digitally detoxing between the hours of 9-11 am. Why? According to\u00a0<a href=\"\/blog\/how-to-be-more-productive-at-work\/\">productivity tips<\/a>\u00a0from our\u00a0Chief Behavioral Officer Dan Ariely, these are the best hours of our day to get stuff done.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So right when you get to work, put your phone in your bag (or somewhere else out of sight), and get busy focusing. This may just be your new favorite productivity hack, in addition to an effective new way to unplug from your phone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3967\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/put-your-phone-away-e1531829252460.png\" alt=\"Put Your Phone Away - Lemonade Blog\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/put-your-phone-away-e1531829252460.png 800w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/put-your-phone-away-e1531829252460-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/put-your-phone-away-e1531829252460-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lemonade.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/put-your-phone-away-e1531829252460-400x209.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Set concrete goals<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All of these hacks are great and all, but the truth of the matter is that humans have an innate bias towards keeping things the same. It\u2019s hard to muster up serious motivation to make a change without a concrete reason and goal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before you begin tackling your phone habit, figure out exactly how much time you spend on your phone, and how much you\u2019d like to reduce that by. Keep in mind that most things don\u2019t work when you implement drastic cuts. Over the course of a few months, you could cut down the amount of time you and your screen spend together by just 10%, and still make huge leaps in reclaiming your connectivity. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So (ironically) download a phone-tracking app, such as Moment or Checky, to get a pulse on how much time you spend on your phone, which apps you\u2019re using the most, and how many different times you pick your phone up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This will not only help you clearly measure your progress, but may just give you that push you need to begin creating a healthier relationship with your phone (and those around you). Why? You may realize you use your phone way more than you think.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For an even more effective start to your phone cleanse, grab a friend, and get in on it together. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Studies show that making public commitments increases your chance of reaching your goals. Tell your bestie how much time you plan to start using your phone each day, and have them do the same. Soon enough, you\u2019ll be well on your way to reaching your goals of spending less time on your phone.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Time to unplug<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that\u2019s a wrap. If you follow these five science-backed steps, you\u2019ll be well on your way to creating a healthier relationship with your phone. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the meantime, be sure to check out Part 1 to get the full scoop on the <a href=\"\/blog\/psychology-behind-phone-addiction\/\">psychology behind why we can\u2019t stop looking at our phones<\/a>. Awareness is the first step to creating that space, so you can open up your time, and your mind, to your present experiences. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With these 5 scientific tricks, creating distance from your phone will be easier than you think. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":3963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"puppies_section":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3957","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-lifehacks","8":"post-hentry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Creating a Healthier Relationship With Your Phone | Lemonade Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As Part 2 of our Digital Detox Series, here are five 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